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Dear Nancy: Why are men more interested in
CHASING girls rather than COMMITTING to girls? - PLAYER HATER
Nancy Says: Men are more interested in chasing girls because
they like what they can't have. They woo, wine and dine a girl,
until she falls for them, and once she wants something more solid,
they are off to the next one.
Guys like to have relationships with girls that are fun, and exciting,
but once the word commitment comes into the picture, they freak
out and automatically think that the girl wants wedding bells to
ring next week.
The idea of commitment for many men means the end of their bachelor
lives and the end of fun. But, this doesn't have to be this way,
just find the guy who loves you for who you are, and realizes that
you are worth the commitment.
Paul Says: While there are a lot of guys out there who are
just playing the field, there are just as many men who are big oncommittment.
I have many personal buddies who have been dating the same girl
for five years or more. Just as there are more flavors of ice cream
than vanilla, there are more types of guys than players out there.
Perhaps the first step towards finding a committed guy requires
some self-examination on your part. Ask yourself why you meet the
type of guys you do. You know what they say: birds of a feather
flock together, so maybe it's time to look elsewhere. Try new types
of social activities or group hobby, but my advice is simple: if
you keep on getting burned by the men you hang out with, it's time
to start looking in different places.
Don't expect to follow the same old patterns and have a knight
in shining armor appear out of nowhere to rescue you. Take control
and change the situation to lead you to the kind of places committed
men might gather!
Dear Nancy: Why are men so indecisive about what they want,
especially between the ages of 22 - 26? Women are around to support
them and not to cause them mental anguish...why can't they understand
that?! - Dazed and Confused
Dear Dazed and Confused: When it comes to women, men will
always be indecisive until the end. They want a girl that is beautiful,
intelligent and fun, and they want that girl to only date them,
BUT they are more than happy to scope out the crowds for another
beautiful and fun girl.
They think that when we are concerned and want to look after them,
that we are trying to suffocate and torture them, and take all the
fun out of their lives - this is just a common male thought.
When men get older, late 20's early 30's, they usually are more
mature and have been around the block and by then most realize that
they can't just womanize for the rest of their lives if they want
to find a loving, trusting relationship with a woman and to have
and raise a family.
Do be careful though, there are some men, that never get into this
stage and are lifetime Hugh Hefners. These aren't the men we want!
You just have to find the guy that isn't afraid of an independent
thinking woman and wants a wife as a partner rather than just a
doormat or trophy. You should be appreciated for the person you
are in any relationship. You know when you have a good guy, is when
he takes care of you when you are sick AND when you are healthy.
Older and more mature men want the best for their significant others
and what's best for the relationship. If you find yourself with
a guy that just likes you when you only at your best, and shows
you off as eye candy to his friends, then you know it's time to
go! When your guy's friends actually try to be YOUR friend, you
know it's a good sign! In the end, trust your intuition, a woman's
gut feeling is always the best.
Dear Nancy: Why are most men (primarily ASIAN) intimidated
by INDEPENDENT women and I don't mean a radical FEMINIST)? Isn't
that a plus? - Independent Asian Woman
Dear Independent Asian Woman: You have to realize that some
Asian Men were raised by subservient Asian women who treated their
sons like princes. Their mothers praised, pampered and focused all
their attention on their ever so brilliant boys and in turn, inflated
their egos and taught them that this was the way that ALL women
should treat them.
The idea of an independent women, who is not like their mothers
scares them. They see that women are not weak and most of all, not
dependent on men to take care of them. This idea is a shocker to
some men, and they just don't understand.
I would think a man would love a woman who can take care of herself,
have a successful career and balance a good social life, but this
sign of power threatens the need for men, which makes men uneasy
and not willing to date these "Power Women."
If a man can't accept that you have goals and aspirations that
you can achieve on your own, then you don't need that guy. As always,
there are many, many, fish in the sea that will love the independent
woman in you.
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